The Proverbs on Marriage (part 2)

Message by Pastor Craig Diestelkamp

Seventh in a 10-part series on Proverbs

Scripture: Proverbs 11:17

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The Book of Proverbs has much to say about marriage. Foremost in the writer’s mind is the idea that marriage is a covenant relationship (Proverbs 2:16-17). As a covenant relationship the marriage partners are called upon to demonstrate Godly character toward their mate. Solomon offers profound advice for both husbands and wives that help build a strong marriage.

Two directions of wisdom for marriage

1. Wisdom to choose a good marriage partner

• Seek Christ (Proverbs 19:14)
• Seek character (Proverbs 31:30)
• Seek counsel (Proverbs 15:22)

2. Wisdom to build a good marriage (Proverbs 12:4)

Just as there are two kinds of wives, there are two kinds of husbands. Notice what Proverbs says about husbands. Proverbs 11:17 – “The merciful man does good for his own soul, but he who is cruel troubles his own flesh.” Cruelty here means to act harshly, violent, uncaring and insensitive.

1. A cruel husband hangs with the wrong friends. Proverbs 14:1-2 – Don’t envy evil people or desire their company. For their hearts pilot violence, and their words always stir up trouble.
2. A cruel man strays from home. Proverbs 27:8 – Like a bird that wanders from its nest is a man who wanders from his place.
3. A cruel man harms with words and will not be honest. Proverbs 12:18-19 – There is one who speaks like the piercing of a sword, … But a lying tongue is but for a moment.
4. A kind husband learns to understand his wife. 1 Peter 3:7 – Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding.
5. A kind husband communicates properly. Proverbs 12:18b-19 – But the tongue of the wise promotes health. The truthful lip shall be established forever.
6. A kind husband loves only his wife! Proverbs 5:18-19 – Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.

The Proverbs on Marriage (part 1)

Message by Pastor Craig Diestelkamp

Sixth in a 10-part series on Proverbs

Scripture: Proverbs 2:1-17

To play the message press the arrow above or right click here to save it to your computer.

The Book of Proverbs has much to say about marriage. Foremost in the writer’s mind is the idea that marriage is a covenant relationship (Proverbs 2:16-17). As a covenant relationship the marriage partners are called upon to demonstrate Godly character toward their mate. Solomon offers profound advice for both husbands and wives that help build a strong marriage.

The Big Idea: Marriage is a Covenant

• Marriage is not contractual.
• Marriage portrays Christ-like love.
• Marriage is for a lifetime.
• Marriage is to bring glory to God.

Proverbs tell us there are two kinds of wives and two kinds of husbands. First let’s look at what the writer had to say about wives.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4)

An excellent wife brings her husband blessing and honor, both privately and publicly. In the home she supports and respects her husband’s God-given call to less the marriage and the family with dignity respect and appreciation. In public, her actions and words are such that bring honor and esteem to her husband. (Proverbs 31:10-12)

A shameful wife destroys a man inwardly. She is like decay in his bones. In the home, her demanding, arguing, and critical ways become a source of pain and heartache, which undercuts his manhood and robs him of his ability to lead the household with strength and confidence. In public she is demeaning and disrespectful to the point you can almost see in a marriage. The wife’s character is often reflected in her husband’s demeanor.

• She is demanding and quarrelsome. (Proverbs 27:15-16)
• She creates emotional and physical distance. (Proverbs 21:19; 25:24)
• She destroys instead of builds. (Proverbs 14:1)

An excellent wife builds her house in wisdom and the fear of the Lord. (Proverbs 31:30)

To be continued next week.

Created and Redeemed For Right Relationship

Message by Pastor Craig Diestelkamp

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Series: Christianity, Not As God Intended!

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 11:2-16

In 1 Corinthians 11, we come to the section of Scripture where Paul addresses the issue of gender. Some of the most important but controversial theological debates in all of Christianity today center around the issues of gender; such as marriage, feminism, homosexuality, lesbianism etc. These issues are at the forefront of our culture today and everybody wants to debate them. Certainly the church needs to know what the Scriptures have to say concerning these things. Speaking through Paul, God provides principles that are applicable to similar problems in our own day.

Three positions on gender:

• Egalitarianism
• Hierarchical Chauvinism
• Complimentarian Chivalry

Paul’s reasoning from Scripture:

• Creation (11:8-9)
• Redemption (11:2-12)
• Nature (11:13-16)

What does Creation teach us?

1. Men and women are equal, both created in God’s image. (Genesis 1:26)
2. God has given men and women different roles. (Genesis 2:18)
3. All that God made is very good! (Genesis 1:31)
4. Sin, not gender has caused the conflict and confused the roles between men and women. (Genesis 3:16)

What does Redemption teach us?

1. The Trinity models right relationship (1 Corinthians 11:3)
2. Men and women must respect godly authority (1 Corinthians 11:4-9).
3. Angels provide us an example for authority (1 Corinthians 11:10).
4. Men and women need each other (1 Corinthians 11:11-12).

What does nature teach us?

Men should be masculine and women should be feminine. Gender roles and identity are defined by Scripture not culture. (1 Corinthians 11:13-16)

Created In His Image and Glory

Message by Pastor Craig Diestelkamp

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Series: Christianity, Not As God Intended!

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 11:2-9

In 1 Corinthians 11, we come to the section of Scripture where Paul addresses the issue of gender. Some of the most important but controversial theological debates in all of Christianity today center around the issues of gender; such as marriage, feminism, homosexuality, lesbianism, etc. These issues are at the forefront of our culture today and everybody wants to debate them. Certainly the church needs to know what the Scriptures have to say concerning these things. Speaking through Paul, God provides principles that are applicable to similar problems in our own day.

Three positions on gender

Egalitarianism
Hierarchical Chauvinism
Complimentarian Chivalry

Paul’s reasoning from Scripture

Creation (11:8-9) Redemption (11:2-12) Nature (11:13-16)

What does Creation teach us?

• Men and women are equal, both created in God’s image. Genesis 1:26 – Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
• God has given men and women different roles.
  • Head (1 Corinthians 11:3-9)
  • Helper (Genesis 2:18)
• All that God made is very good! (Genesis 1:31)

Men make culture, culture doesn’t make men.

• Sin, not gender has caused the conflict and confused the roles between men and women. Genesis 3:16 – Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”

What does Redemption teach us?

• The Trinity models right relationship (1 Corinthians 11:3)

Genesis 3:14-15

Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage, Part 2

Pastor Craig Diestelkamp

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Series: Christianity, Not As God Intended!

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:10-24, 39-40

Three weeks ago we began a two-part message on Marriage Divorce and Remarriage. In addressing each of these subjects we want to try and answer some common questions that people have on this whole issue. First we dealt with the question concerning marriage.

What does the Bible tell us about marriage?

1. 1. God made marriage for one man and one woman. (Genesis 2:22-25)
2. God designed marriage to be a permanent union of “oneness” that is not to be broken. (Genesis 2:23-24; Matthew 19:4-6)
3. Marriage is a covenant. (Malachi 2:14; Proverbs 2:17; Ecclesiastes 5:4)
4. 4. A marriage is one in which the husband commits himself to providing for his wife’s and children’s well-being. (Exodus 21:10; Ephesians 5:28-29; 1 Timothy 5:8)
5. A husband is accountable for his family’s well-being and conduct. (Genesis 3:9; Ephesians 5:22-23; Colossians 3:18-21; 1 Peter 3:1-7)
6. God hates divorce. (Malachi 2:16)

Six important questions regarding Divorce and Remarriage

1. What constitutes the legitimate ending of a marriage?
   1. Death of a spouse (1 Corinthians 7:39; Romans 7:2-4)
   2. Adultery (Matthew 5:32; 19:8)
   3. Non-Christian leaves (1 Corinthians 7:12-1 6)
   4. Treason or Betrayal (Matthew 19:9)
2. What will the elders do if my Christian spouse insists on divorcing me? (Mark 10:11-12; Romans 7:2-3; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 27)
3. Does this mean women must endure an abusive relationship? (1 Peter 3:7)
4. Can I remarry after divorcing an adulterer? (Matthew 19:19; Mark 10:10; Luke 16:18)
5. What if I divorced my spouse because of domestic violence, child abuse or abandonment—can I remarry?
6. What if I was divorced as a non-Christian?

Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage, Part 1

Pastor Craig Diestelkamp

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Series: Christianity, Not As God Intended!

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:10-24, 39-40

In our society, marriages fail under a wide range of circumstances. Many people have gone through a divorce before having a relationship with Christ, and others have experienced divorce through no desire or decision of their own. Still others may have divorced because of their own wrongful choices, but have since experienced the repentance and forgiveness offered through our Lord Jesus.

The myth of divorce
No one is harmed
It’s better for the children
It ends the relationship

1. God made marriage for one man and one woman (Genesis 2:22-25)
2. God designed marriage to be a permanent union of “oneness” that is not to be broken (Genesis 2:23-24; Matthew 19:4-6)
3. Marriage is a covenant (Malachi 2:14; Prov. 2:17; Ecclesiastes 5:4)
4. A marriage is one in which the husband commits himself to providing for his wife’s and children’s well-being (Exodus 21:10; Ephesians 5:28-29; 1 Tim. 5:8)
5. A husband is accountable for his family’s well-being and conduct (Genesis 3:9; Ephesians 5:22-23; Col. 3:18-21; 1 Peter 3:1-7)
6. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)

Our commitment at GracePoint of Webster to protect marriage!

The Right Kind of Sex

Pastor Craig Diestelkamp

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Series: Christianity, Not As God Intended!

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:1-6

There was tremendous confusion in the Corinthian Church concerning marriage. Because of the rampant immorality in their culture and in the church; the high divorce rate, widespread homosexuality and mass gender confusion; problems with slavery; and celibacy, most people had a very low view of marriage.

• 1 Corinthians 7:1 – Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
  Some believe Paul himself had a low view of marriage. But Paul is not telling the men that they shouldn’t get married, because that would contradict what the Scripture teaches. (Genesis 2:18; Matthew 19:4-6; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Timothy 4:1-3; Proverbs 18:22). Paul is not condemning marriage, nor sexual relations in the marriage. But rather he condemns sex before marriage in the church and in society.
• 1 Corinthians 7:3 – Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
  Paul’s says in a Christian marriage each partner has an obligation to fulfill their mate’s sexual needs and desires. There should be a mutual giving of ourselves in sexual love and intimacy to one another continually. This is God’s design for a strong and happy marriage.

• 1 Corinthians 7:4 – The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
  Paul is simply saying the wife does not have authority over her own body because she has released, or given herself completely to her husband. And the husband does not have authority over his own body because he has released, or given himself completely to his wife.

• 1 Corinthian 7:5 – Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of
  your lack of self-control.

Sex is for pleasure (1 Corinthians 7:3)
Sex is for procreation (Genesis 1:26-28)
Sex is for companionship and oneness (Genesis 2:18)
Sex is for comfort (2 Samuel 12:
Sex is for protection (1 Corinthians 7:5)
Don’t allow Satan room in the marriage!